Where: Stadium Cafe, Mulgrave
Currently: in need of faith…

Sitting in the relaxing atmosphere of this cafe highlights the importance of this time I spend with you. You deserve my time, my life, my all – for you are God Almighty! Yet, even with such knowledge, intimacy grows over time not through my “understanding” of the heavens. I sit here, humbled and ashamed of my lack of faith before such an awesome God.

As I await the decision of confirmation or rejection by my leadership, I am anxious, shaken by the thought that I possibly made a serious mistake. Yet, in all things you call for me to trust in You. Teach me to find comfort in you and your Word. Lead me in the green pastures of your choosing, though at times of drought and the grass come gold, stil you stand with me in the blazing sun; protecting me, watching over me and guiding me to places of rest.

One word simply circles in my mind, “trust” and just now, “submit”. Having gone ahead with my own agenda and then opened the door for potential rejection…God, I want to release my hold and submit, yet, the battle wages in my mind holding onto the reigns of control. Help me, Lord. Please…

Such is my plea…though I know the faithfulness of my God, though I know that He has my best interest at heart; we pay the price when we take things into our own hands. To make a decision, essentially, without the inclusion or consideration of my God has been foolishness on my part; now, I expect Him to approve and bless my own agenda. Selfish! If my plans fall through, such is my foolishness; yet, if my plans are approved, such, also, is my foolishness for thinking that I am able.

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