I am weary. I am distracted. My spirit is willing, but my mind and body are weak. I am spiritually lethargic. The fellowship of my spiritual brothers and sisters alone carry the passions of my soul, yet alone I find myself dragging my spiritual feet in the dirt of dreariness.
The opening of one of David’s psalms (Psalm 6) reads:
O LORD, rebuke me not in your anger,
nor discipline me in your wrath.
Be gracious to me, O LORD, for I am languishing;
heal me, O LORD, for my bones are troubled.
My soul also is greatly troubled.
But you, O LORD—how long?
As I read this psalm, it does not stir anything in my spirit, but it is my prayer. It is the prayer of my heart to rediscover the amazing grace of God for myself; to find once again the deep and personal love that fan the passions of my heart. May God be ever so gracious with me as I wander through this wilderness searching after Him only by the urging of His loving Spirit.
If you find yourself wandering through a dry time, do not despair. God is faithful, even when we are not. God is gracious, even when we deserve otherwise. God is merciful, even when discipline is needed. I fully expect God to deal with me as I need, if He needs to break me then let it be done for His glory’s sake. Yet, I know He will deliver me for the sake of His steadfast love (see the rest of David’s psalm).
Do you struggle with prayer? I do, but I will yet trust in Him and He will hear my plea. His love is steadfast, His path is firm, and His promises will never fail. No matter how you feel, may you choose to continue walking to Him, whether you crawl or drag your feet, persevere and keep your eyes on Him. May the Spirit continue to urge you, to call you, to woo you deep into the love of the Lord Jesus Christ.