I was visiting a friend’s church last Sunday and usually, I’m energised by the worship. However, on this occassion, my spirit was heavy and it dragged me down rather than having my spirit lifted through the worship. I wanted to see God, I wanted to find God in my heaviness and I began to pray in my heart that I would see Him.

Then, I recalled a passage that was shared on a couple of days before: Elijah, after performing a spectacle to prove with an act of fire that the Lord God was the One True God before all the people of Israel, ran away for fear of his life. A prophet of God, who called fire down from heaven, ran away because a queen threatened to kill him. What the heck were you afraid of Elijah?

Nonetheless, here I am, after returning from an amazing 5-week experience in Japan and I’m searching for God. The story of Elijah continued as he hid in the cave and God called out to him to stand on the mountain where God would pass by. There was a great and powerful wind that tore the mountains apart and shattered the rocks, then there was an earthquake, then there was a fire…yet in all these majestic presentations of power, God was not in any of them. Then after these three came a gentle whisper, it’s as though Elijah was knocked over by a gale-force wind, Elijah was huddling in a ball at such expression of God.

Likewise, as I stood in that time of worship, I sought God. He wasn’t in the thumping beats of the drums, He wasn’t in the raised voices of the multitude in that hall, He wasn’t in the stunning visual displays set through the hall…yet, when it was when I opened these words retelling the story of Elijah that I was almost knocked off my feet.

Where is God? Standing right there beside me the entire time, sharing the heavy burden within my heart. Despite my inadequacies and failures, my God will not leave me, nor forsake me, for I am His child.